Episode 11-22-2013 – Chuck Studley Bag’s one

With deer hunting in full swing now, our very own Chuck Studley heads out to the woods. Officially hunting starts at 1^st light and at 7:45am that Chuck sends a text message to Coach. Below is a copy of the picture he sent.

Don't get all warm and fuzzy Chuck...we're not done yet!

When this picture was shared with the rest of the LG…Mansel took the opportunity to jazz things up a little bit. Mansel rights “do you see a comparison here?”

We need an official advertisement of it…so we invented ”Bowman’s Venison Sandwich Fillets”

We think it will sell. What do you think? Let us know by calling our 800 number...OH wait, we don't have a 800 number. 

Episode 11-21-2013 – Taste’s like Amish!

OM (aka Samuel Miller… Miller is the most common Amish name, seen most prevalently in the Midwest, in communities such as Saline, Michigan of western Washtenaw County) sends out a message to LG members: “For those of you whom will be dining in Goose Lane Café today, there will be special bread available to celebrate “friendship” … Little does OM know, the Amish Mafia will be after him.

According to rumors on the street (Yoder’s Way), Samuel Miller has changed the recipe of the “friendship bread”. If you look at the two images above, the “friendship” bread on the left was made by Samuel Miller’s grandmother Martha Miller (below). The bread on the right is Samuel’s. 

I told Samuel there would be a problem if he didn’t make the “friendship” bread exactly as it says on the package. We’re so afraid of the Amish Mafia…that’s why we ride in horse drawn carriages and never look up. I fear for his life.

Later at the Bago Café… men of the round table dove right into the “friendship” bread made by Samuel Miller (aka OM). The first to cut into it was Godfather…I fear no man…but I got to tell you this does taste like Amish. 

The entire group was laughing so hard, people were commenting about in when they walked into Bago Café…”We could here you all the way down the hallway”, “I was on the other side of building and heard you guys”. 

One of the elders of the group Jedediah Bago (you can tell because he’s sporting a mustache) makes a comment about the bread “it just doesn’t taste right. I think you left out an ingredient…maybe nutmeg…no that’s not it…something else….I know what it is…you forgot the Sugar and Cinnamon on the outside of the bread”.

Episode 11-19-2013 – Visually Impaired

With Mansel’s absence from work due to recent storms, the LG lottery group was wondering if indeed he’s staying home because of “no power” or is he really on his way to the Hawaiian Islands. Well, this is how the conversation went…

Mansel: We won enough to cover everyone in tonight’s Mega Millions drawing (you can see where the conspiracy comes into play can’t you?) BTW…here is a pic of me hanging with the guy on the cover of the Madden 25 video game.

OM: Is that Kwame?

Coach: Mansel, you take every opportunity to get a picture with famous people. 

Mansel: Yeah, but I don’t have one with John Travolta yet.

Mr. T: Hint – one of the guys in this picture sometimes pretends that he’s Barry Sanders.  

OM: Nope.. he is too white to be Barry.

Mr. T: When I sing Karaoke I go by the stage name Barely White.  “Never, never gonna give you up”

ManCave: When I singe karaoke, I go by the stage name Barely MANSEL.  The woman scream and run.

Bago: …just the one woman…

Mansel: As they should.

KC: That would be better than “Bare Naked MANSEL”

Mansel: “Bare Naked MANSEL” is a big hit with the visually impaired crowd.

Episode 11-13-2013 – Hunting with OM

In Bago’s absence, we had a little fun. OM is going to take Bago hunting with him this weekend. So we only thought it would be appropriate to put together a little story about it. Here goes…

Deer hunting starts before dawn but Bago thinks otherwise. Seen here walking into the woods looking for OM calling out his name around noon. He also yells out “I’ve brought you your favorite flavored coffee and donuts” …OM where are you?

Bago walks the woods yelling out OM’s name until he finally comes across his deer stand.

Hunting with OM was one of the best experiences in my life! I had great coffee, my favorite donuts “double-chocolate fudge” and I saw all kinds of deer. OM is going to be so disappointed he missed me.

Episode 11-11-2013 – Thanks to Veterans Everywhere

The Lunch Gang would like to send out a special thank you to all America’s veterans for their service to our country. Thank You!

//

NextGEN Picky writes: Chuck Studly, Thank you for your service to our country!

Falcon: Those need to be ham hocks he is standing on top of.

Episode 11-08-2013 – Chinese Mud

The title might be a little confusing and once explained it will become clearer. The day’s conversation started with OM sending out an article about a top Cube City person making yet another big move. Here’s how it went:

OM: She keeps on moving…”Deutsche Bank announced today the appointment of ex-Cube City executive as chief information officer and global co-head of group technology & operations (GTO).”

Coach: What do you know? ManCave, maybe you could pick up some work (payment in beer)…LOL!

Mansel: I see her circling back to Cube City and then there will be a steel cage match between the two front office ladies to see who will be CIO.

OM: I would sign up on Pay per View for that one…

Coach: Will there be mud?

Mansel: Mud and pillows.

Coach: Can you see that image in your mind? WOW!

ManCave: I’ve never seen a less qualified person get so many great jobs.

Professor: It all comes down to one thing…she is living proof that it is definitely not what you know….

KC: Or…who you “know” either…

Coach: All I know is if there is mud I’m watching!!! LOL!!!

KC: Of course….count me in!

Professor: I’ll clear the calendar for that one too! I nominate KC to be the official event photographer.

OM: I will bring a whistle and some vegetable oil.

Coach: Now your talk ‘in! OIL!!!!

ManCave: I’ll be the referee. “She will be based in London.”  Fancy!

Coach: Maybe she can say hello to “Fish & Chips”

Mansel: Let me look that up on Urban Dictionary….

Professor: Surprised no one has volunteered to bring the Jell-O?

Coach: There you go…your task will be just that.

KC: We’ll have to determine what we do with the income from the Webcam rights.  

Mansel: I’ll contact the GoPro people. See if they want sponsor the event and through in a few cameras that we can strategically place.

//

Loud Chinese

“You Big Boy, You Sit Here”. The entire table busted out laughing. For lunch today we went to “Loud Chinese”. Great food with traditional Chinese decorations inside; the owner a little Chinese women has this Hugh voice, something that you would never think would come out of her. We were all sitting around the table waiting on Stu and Chicken-Pot-Pie to arrive; when only Chicken-Pot-Pie walks thru the door. As he approached the table “Loud Chinese Lady” say’s to Chicken-Pot-Pie “You Big Boy, You Sit Here” meaning he was to sit at the end of the table with a lot of room. We couldn’t stop laughing…..

Episode 11-04-2013 – What a Monday!

You know how most working people really hate Monday mornings? Well, here is Cube City, we’re very positive! Why you ask? Well, let me tell you. It’s because of instances like this one…

OM sends out an electronic notice to all the LG members: Fresh cookies at my desk. Come get 'em while they last. And Pierre gets none! The negative connotation by OM about Pierre goes back to last weeks “cookie hording” that Pierre displayed.

We even had a “Cookie Drive-by” by ManCave and NextGen Picky. It was a very smooth move by the both of them. Then there’s Mansel wining that “he’s in a meeting and can’t get over to get one for himself”. Again, Mansel is a ROOKIE to the LG. He needs to trust that we “the LG members” take care of our own. Nice work by T-Mobile for covering the ROOKIE. [Mansel and NextGen Picky need to take “Circle of Trust” training]

//

Then there’s the present Stan left for “The Hunter”. Something to do with Gene’s long red tongue we believe. 

 //

Finally, we go on the road for lunch at the MECCA. OM doesn’t bring a green shake today because he thought the MECCA is a restaurant in Cube City. So we stopped at Subway. Bago drove his new “Bago Wagon” but drove into the bushes outside of Subway (Professor had to cut his way out). 

Interesting concept at the MECCA: They have rice that looks just like Mac & Cheese; Bread that gets shared amongst friends (you don’t know where the ingredients come from); and food called “iFood not weFood” (not really sure what the hell that is but NextGen Picky really likes it). I really like the concept of how people trick other people into thinking the microwaves are broken (they turn them around exposing the back). Then when no one is looking, the tricksters then walk up to the microwave turn it around and use it and according to NextGen Picky, it “so easy over here”. 

This MECCA experience was something else. I think all people working in Cube City should try it. Let’s Talk About IT!

Episode 10-31-2013 – Something about Halloween

People say “weird things happen on Halloween”. Well, here in Cube City it’s can’t be far from the truth. Case in point; a special invitation was sent out for lunch at the Mecca for Monday November 4th. Here’s how the conversations went:

-----Original Appointment-----
From: Coach
Sent: Thursday, October 31, 2013 8:00 PM
To: Mansel; Smokes; Bago; NextGen Picky; OM; T-Mobile; ManCave; Professor
Subject: Lunch with ManCave
When: Monday, November 04, 2013 11:30 AM-12:00 PM (UTC-05:00) Eastern Time (US & Canada).
Where: Mecca

ManCave: I expect good participation for this sanctioned, LG, event.

Smokes: No can do for me. I’ll be at DTP trialing new equipment. 

OM: I’m in. I hear they have a killer green smoothie.

Smokes: IT’S PEOPLE!!!!!

T-Mobile: And we expect only Lunch Gang Members to join for lunch --- others wonabe cold watch from far away

OM: Speak English T-Mobile…

T-Mobile: Ok I missed a “U”  - cold = could / Wonabe = wont to be / Anything else!!!!!!

OM: Want to be… or wannabe

ManCave: Wannabe? We can find a table here that is occupied and kick the people off it. Bring food to throw.

Bago: Wont to be = want to be ? In the immortal words of Samuel L. Jackson…“English M-F’er, DO YOU SPEAK IT?”

Mansel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fnc15BxXkJY

NextGen Picky: Yes.  We need to epically claim our table.  If there aren’t blood and tears involved (on the part of the tossies), we gentlemen - have failed.

Coach: What the heck is NextGen Picky talking about?

Mansel: if you want me to mark our territory, say the word.

NextGen Picky: Let’s talk about IT

ManCave: What is a “tossies”? MANSEL…Urban Dictionary this term.

Coach: Both of you New Bee’s by LG Law are to put that phrase into your signature file.

NextGen Picky: Tossies (toss – eeze)  n. – The people we forcefully expel from the seats we wish to occupy.

Mansel: Derivation of….toss 

(vb.) to masturbate or wank; usu. used as a verbal phrase as in 'toss off'.
Also forms 'tosser', lit. someone who masturbates, but used as a derogative.

Get outta my room you tosser! I'm not having you standing there whilst I'm tossing off.

Bago: And we should all remember, the new bees are only naturalized citizens of LG, they can’t run for president.  Not like they were part of LG by birth…these new money people trying to spread their wings could find them clipped….

Coach: Be careful. Remember Gene Hackman in the movie “Enemy of the State”…Their listen to you all the time. Key words or phrases like “Stall 3” or “masturbates” will send the bastards in looking for you.

ManCave: Excellent providing of definitions, MANSEL.

//

Then there’s the Tea Time Halloween incident. As a few of us we’re standing around enjoying our Halloween tea-time, OM says “headed to the bathroom”. With is tea cup full of hot tea, he heads to the bathroom. Coach yells out “Tea in Stall 3?” OM’s reply: yes, along with crumpets.

Oh man, Halloween makes people get really weird.

Episode 10-29-2013 – Where’s the cookies

As the LG was sitting around the round table, O-Canada walks in eating a cookie. Displaying cookies in front of us is like hanging a steak in front of a bear. Both go nuts! Here’s how the conversation went once we returned to electronic conversations.

OM: Where are the cookies??!?

O-Canada: I’m in the meeting. Trying to learn…. 

OM: That has NOTHING to do with cookies… Quit stalling!

O-Canada: I’m not stalling…  If I was, I would start asking you about how Little OM is…  BTW, how IS little OM?

OM: See.. now you are stalling. What time is your next break, so I can time when the cookies will arrive.  Little 

OM is good.. he is a pain in my butt some days, but he is doing well.

O-Canada: Think the next break is at 1:30 – why don’t you swing by and avail yourself of a cookie?

OM: Tea time at 1:30.. perhaps a cookie too.

This is where the conversations got a little angry sounding…

T-Mobile: OM, Professor and Bago are saying it has been a while since you baked some cookies ----- they are just saying you know!!!!!!

OM: They are right!  I think it is overdue.  Plus, it is performance review time.. always need something for people to talk about.

T-Mobile: Oups OM not MC

OM: I knew who you meant.. When has MC ever baked cookies?!

Coach: MC, don’t bake! So the answer is never 

ManCave: There was photographic proof of me making cookies when you FORCED everybody to last year.

OM: Correction.. There was photographic “evidence” of you holding a plate of cookies.  There is no proof of anyone baking them. And forced is a very strong word for what was obviously encouragement.

Professor: Geez…what happened to the old MC, this new one is very unpleasant (and kind of violent)! If we don’t find the old MC, I will be filing a missing persons report in less than 24 hours…

Coach: Can’t we just get along? It’s coming down to a “North vs. South” thing all over again.

ManCave: Photographic evidence, I have made cookies…

Coach: This picture is staged.

ManCave: Oh Hell no.  I made those cookies.  Like a Keebler Elf on crack.  I was a cookie makin’ machine that night.

Coach: MC Elf! There’s a picture in the future…I can see it now!

OM: Agree with Coach. Look familiar MC?!   Huh?

OM: I don’t think the moon landing was staged as good as this one..

Coach: There you go…staged!

Professor: Without a time-lapsed video of MC making the cookies, I am going with staged!

ManCave: I even posted the recipe for others….I am a cookie god.

Coach: For the rest of the LG, have you ever had one of “his” cookies? NO

Professor: A few months at the Mecca and look what has happened…

Coach: Exactly!

OM: We knew it was only a matter of time.

ManCave: Hmm, that is one platter of cookies more than you have ever brought in Professor…hmm….

Coach: WOW!

ManCave: You all suck.  You are all heathens!  Join me in the Death Star, er, Mecca!  We can conquer the world!!!!!!!!!   And bake cookies too.

OM: NEVER!  And I don’t care if you are my father.

Coach: It is “North vs. South” all over again. That war started over the word “heathens”.

ManCave: Don’t make me light saber you.  I am a JEDI.

Professor: Easy MC, your memory loss must be caused with the water you drinking from Mecca. Several people can vouch for cookies that I baked and brought in that day!

ManCave: Those were from the kitchen of Mama Professor. 

Coach: Challenge Flag has been thrown.

Professor: Baked in my own kitchen…which I believe is bigger than yours…Bigger the kitchen, better the cookies!

ManCave: Is it true what they say about the size of a guy’s kitchen?

Coach: Hey, we don’t talk like that here. Never talk about the size of your kitchen here.

OM: I can’t stop laughing over here…

ManCave: It’s not about the size of your kitchen or your cookie….it’s how you use it.  Just sayin’…

Coach: That’s called Cookie Envy!

ManCave: Why all of this violence?  I believe this hate should be directed toward the cookie-blocker, Pierre.

Final note:

This is exactly what happens with someone is eating a cookie in front of the LG without sharing. WE GOT NUTS!

Episode 10-29-2013 – Introduction of Characters

One would think that the LG would’ve given everyone in Cube City a name. But, with the influx of people coming to the building because of our popularity, we haven’t. For those of you “new” to the Lunch Gang Blog, let me explain. Each one of us has a character representation, like “The Professor” is actually a professor; OM (aka Officer Miller) is actually a law enforcement officer. Well, today we have two new characters:

• Wiper
• The Hunter

Wiper: After taking a piss, he hits the handle for the typical flush, then just wipes his hands on his pants leg and walks out. So for those of you, who think the door handle is clean, think again.

The Hunter: A particular women who thinks she can get any male she wants; and believes it; even if he has a big nose. 

As you can see, there’s a never ending wealth of entertainment if you just open your eyes and look for it.

Episode 10-24-2013 – Declaration of New Members

This was a historical day in Cube City where the Lunch Gang signed the “Declaration of New Members” in Bago Café. This was a very exciting moment for the original six members of OM, ManCave, Professor, T-Mobile, Bago, and Coach. Our last declaration was made almost three (3) years ago when Smokes as added to the club.

In today’s ceremonial signing, we the members of the Lunch Gang here by agree to add members Mansel and NextGen Picky. This signed agreement was not without debate. It was agreed upon by ALL existing members that we build into the by-laws to add a “Mansel Clause”. As written by the committee to elect new members, the language is as follows:

The MANSEL Clause:

“Let it henceforth be said that MANSEL is a member of the LG and is entitled to the rights and privileges of the LG.  However, let it also be understood that, at any time, the members of the LG reserve the right to throw MANSEL out of the LG if he performs any of the following:

• Trade for Calvin Johnson
• Add a submission of his own to the Urban Dictionary
• Ever name another dog “Thumper”.
• Take a selfie of himself doing the “Eiffel Tower”
• Reasons deemed stupid by any member of the LG

This clause is invoked at any time by the other members of the LG.  Once seconded, it will be brought forth to a vote”

Please welcome with me our newest members: Mansel and NextGen Picky.

Episode 10-21-2013 – Jim Leyland is leaving

Mansel who has a hotline into the Tiger’s front office sends out this message to the group (I must warn you some of this information get graphic). Here’s how the conversations went:

Mansel: Say it ain’t so!

Bago: As Leyland says…”dkjf; dfhmmmf giisu;  suaikkkdsyf  hmmaffrmpfth” !!!

Coach: Heck yea! Needs to go!

Professor: Agree with Coach on this one. It is about time and hopefully they won’t talk him into coming back. Dombrowski should be the next one to leave…

OM: And take Fielder with ‘em. I bet Don Kelly is getting worried. Dat’s his boy.

Coach: Although Dombrowski put together a somewhat good team, he needs to go as well. Good suggestion Professor!

Mr. T: You guys are crazy. Hope the Cubs hire him. 

Coach: Won’t help the Cubs. Sorry Mr. T.

Mr. T: Can’t hurt

Coach: It’s in the cards for the Cub to never win a world series in your life time. Just like the Lions never winning a super bowl in mine. Sorry about that. We’ll raise a glass together swearing at the sports gods for allowing this to happen.

ManCave: So who gets the Tigers’ manager gig?  Tom Brookens Mustache?  TinyGene Lamont?  The recently unemployed, Dusty Baker?  I’d prefer Joe Maddon from Tampa Bay, but he is under contract through 2015.

Coach: None of the above. Out goes Brookens…players don’t respect him. Tiny Gene…Can’t make it up the dug-house steps. Dusty Baker…needs to leave the game altogether. As for Joe Maddon, he’ll never come north.

Mr. T: Gibby!

Coach: Heck yea! Gibby! Let’s start a petition right now.

OM: I heard it was between Barry Sanders and Steve Yzerman…

Professor: I propose we trade Fielder to the Diamondbacks for Gibby! We’ll throw in Benoit and Coke as an added bonus…

Mr. T: Hell – Gibby could step in right now and get more RBI’s in the post season.

Mansel: I think the Tigers need to use Big Data to figure out who they should hire as a manager. Sounds like Gibby might be available-ish…..

http://www.azcentral.com/sports/diamondbacks/articles/20130930silence-on-arizona-diamondbacks-kirk-gibson-kevin-towers-contract-options.html

KC: Does Sparky have a Grandson?  

Episode 10-21-2013 – FFBL Update

With the Lunch Gang Fantasy Football now in full swing (week 7) here was the conversation that took place this morning…

Mansel: I HAD COMPUTER PROBLEMS ALL WEEKEND AND COULD NOT LOGIN TO YAHOO. WHO DID I PLAY AND HOW DID I DO? ALSO, WHAT WAS THE FINAL SCORE OF THE MSU PURDUE GAME?

Mr. T: At the request of the NFLPA my fantasy team has been disbanded. Apparently they noticed nearly a 1-1 correlation between my roster and either season ending injury or just plain sucking. It is believed that if I release all my players Tom Brady may yet have time save his season and Frank Gore could be spared injury. 

PS….MSU has nothing to brag about. Northern Illinois has asked for entrance to the Big 10 replacing MSU since they kicked our ass way worse. And lest you suggest it would be better to just replace Purdue, I’ll remind you it’s our freaking conference – we started it and we decide who stays and who goes. We kicked Michigan out once – don’t piss us off.  

Coach: Mr. T, I think we touched a nerve! I’m a MSU fan and you’re correct, we have nothing to brad about. Dantonio is going to have another heart-attack if the offense doesn’t get going. Look for a change in the middle of the season [offensive coordinator]. 

ManCave: Hell hath no fury like a scorned Boilermaker….  That was almost a “get off my lawn” rant by Mr. T.   Nicely done!!! Coach, don’t worry.  Your Spartans will score on Michigan.  This Michigan defense would give up 35 to Lincoln Park High School.   First one to 60 points wins next Saturday.

Mr. T: What – me rant? 

OM: All true. Nicely stated MC.

Rose-Bud: Just 2 words to set you all off…Go Bucks!!

Coach: Two words back Rose-Bud….Bite M*!

Professor: Only thing that did work out for Mr. T this weekend was that the Saints were on a bye. Based on this chain of notes, I sense a high demand to get on the Michigan State bandwagon…I am checking with my connections to see how many more people we can fit. I will report back shortly.

Rose-Bud: Stub Hub is showing 23,345,654 tickets available for the wagon.  I believe they are all quite affordable.

Professor: thanks for verifying the number of seats available on the bandwagon. That should be just enough to accommodate the number of Bowling Green University dropouts that exist within a 100 mile radius.

ManCave: This just in………….it appears Bowling Green’s water boy just scored on Michigan’s defense.  BG Water Boys 47  Michigan 43…game still going on .   GO BLUE! And…Stub Hub is announcing they will take used couches and gas cans, along with credit cards, to purchase room on the MSU bandwagon.

Mr. T: This just in the over/under on the UM/MSU game is either 3 or 125.  

Rose-Bud: This young lady seems to be stupefied at the prospect of having to witness the UM – MSU game…

Coach: Now that’s funny!

Mr. T: Help me! I can’t stop looking at it. 

Episode 10-10-2013 – Keep rubbing it!

As perverted as it sounds, rubbing it more just might do the trick. You sick bastard, get you mind out of the gutter. I’m talking about Mansel picking the correct lottery numbers in our LG Lottery club using his “pet rocks” by rubbing it.

As folklore has it, Mansel takes out his “pet rocks” (which he carries everywhere) even when he goes into a Lottery station. His methods are crud and rude but somehow the numbers come to him. This only occurs whenever he starts rubbing the dam things in public. Police have seen him doing his “rock rub” and have questioned him sever times. When asked he just simply says “just rubbing my rocks, officer. Do you want to see them?” Mansel shows off his pet rocks to the officers.

This all started with Mansel displaying this week’s tickets with number we hit on. No winners of course because all the numbers were on separate tickets. But the point is, we haven’t been this close to winning anything for about 3 years now. 

Checkout Mansel’s Lottery World weekly newsletter for club member’s responses:

Falcon: Whatever you rubbed last time, make sure to rub it even more this time so we get more numbers.

Mansel: Wow. Someone tells me to rub it even more.

OM: Just do it at home on your own time.

Mr. T: I don’t want to know what Mansel may have been doing to get better numbers but agree it wouldn’t hurt to do more of it. 

Mansel: I totally misunderstood the purpose of the meditation room.

ManCave: You have a meditation room there.  We have rooms for lactation and ping pong here. Rub whatever you have to rub MANSEL.  We need to win. If one of your cube neighbors pays for me, I will get ‘em back tomorrow at lunch.

Mr. T: There was a couple intern’s that figured it out a few years ago. They were meditating away until security came.

Episodes 10-07-2013 – Cub Scouts have ManCave arrested

It happened, ManCave snapped. Recently the Cube City police arrested one of the notorious Lunch Gang members for attacking a group of Cub Scouts for just selling popcorn.

The judge ask “ManCave do you have any statements to make before I hand out sentencing” Shackled at the ankles and wrist, ManCave stands up and says “Hell Yeah I have something to say Judge”. 

It all began when me and two of my friends, Douger, and Schmenge, was playing street ball in a Cube City street in 1975. Spotting wet concrete, they start writing their names into it when a car pulls up and two men, pretending to be police officers, get out, berate us for our actions, and tell Schmenge to get into the car. The men were from Jimmy Hoffa’s gang (the next street over) and they held Schmenge captive and made him make spaghetti for four days, until he escapes.

Now, thirty-eight years later, the we’re all grown and, while we still live in Cube City your honor, we have drifted apart somewhat. Douger is my local distributor running a neighborhood beer store out of his garage, while Schmenge is a blue-collar worker, still haunted by his abduction, and I’m so obsessed with cruelty to Cub Scouts that I hunt them down at local Kroger stores just to flip there tables over. I can’t help myself….I think it’s Man-O-Pause. That little smiley faces in their uniform just sets me off and then the little bastards trick you to buy a bag of popcorn for $20 bucks…I lose it! So I yell at them, tip there table over, and run away.

The judge says “is that all ManCave?” ManCave replies “I’ve got lots to say but that’s all for now”. In his next voice the judge says “As judge of a case as peculiar as this, I am genuinely concerned about your recent streak of violent thoughts and tendencies.  I think being surrounded by the nerdopolis at the Big Bang Theory building is starting to get to you. It was brought to my attention today, once you surrounded yourself by other members of the Lunch Gang at the lunch table, you felt comfortable enough to vent what’s been seemingly building up for weeks maybe even months and years. I think as a society we should heed this cry for help, and arrange for medical help soon before something/someone (like the poor Cub Scouts) goes seriously sideways. Please stand.” 

ManCave, I sentenced you to 28 years in the Milan prison. Your sentence will start today. Bailiff, please remove this Cub Scout Table Flipper from my court room. Court adjourned. 

In the back of the court room you could hear the cries of joy from the Cub Scout troops “We did it, we brought down ManCave”.

Episode 09-27-2013 – Random thoughts by OM

It has happened again. A deviation from the LG Friday lunch schedule and here’s how it happened yet again…

Episode 9-25-2013 – Fuzzy Berries and a Slice of American cheese

Ok this is a little confusing if you weren’t there, let me explain. For those of you who follow this blog writing you’ve got to know who Pierre is by now, don’t you. That’s right, the guy who brings strange things in his lunch to eat. Today Pierre brought a package of raspberries. Normally no big deal, but these berries were covered in mold fuzz and Pierre ate them like nothing was wrong. His comment was “Penicillin” good for you. Penicillin is an antibiotic belonging to a group originally derived from mold of the genus Penicillium but now produced synthetically. Formula: C16H18N2O4S. If you need a visual aid, here you go. He ate the whole pack.

The second part of this episode “a Slice of American cheese” has to do with the birth of a son. During lunch godfather was telling us his wife “Mrs. Godfather” was going to have their third child tomorrow. After all the congratulations were made, we all look at T-Mobile (who’s the father of three daughters) about having a son. OM looks at him and said “you do know how to make a son don’t you?” laughter filled the room. T-Mobile looked at him and said “this is going to be good”. So OM in his infinite wisdom told T-Mobile yea “you need to hang your wife upside down with a Slice of American cheese hanging around your man-land. I don’t need to tell you how loud the laughter was when he said that.

Episode 09-24-2013 – Muffy really pounds that shit

The Purina_® corporation makers of the cat food Fancy Feast_® posted a message on their website “Tell what your cat thinks about our food”. So ManCave decided to write back with a humorous statement of his own, he writes “Muffy really pounds that shit!”

ManCave shows Junior ManCave what he wrote and he spit his food all over the kitchen table. But the best part is, Purina_® calls ManCave out on his comment stating “Mr. ManCave we thank you for responding to our survey but this is a family website and statements such as the one you wrote will not be tolerated. Please refrain from using profanities in the future when commenting on our website. Thank you for your patronage”

Episode 09-23-2013 – Green Acres: Oliver buys a farm

Oliver (the Falcon) Douglas quits his multi-million dollar a year job as a SBM & moves from downtown Dexter to Hooterville. He wants to get away from the rat race of the city. His beautiful wife Barbara doesn't exactly love the idea but she names the chickens “The Yokerson’s”. 

Oliver’s first job is to keep the rooster away from the Yokerson’s but he’s not having very much luck. You see he started with only two hen chickens…he’s now up to six.

Episode 09-13-2013 – Do you want to touch my mouse?

Like the title indicates, one of the Lunch Gang members (his initials are BAGO) yells out “Hey T-Mobile, do you want to touch my mouse?” I’m not going to being to say there’s anything wrong with that, because there is. 

How can one man ask another man to touch his mouse? 

Episode 09-03-2013 – The Vitamix Challenge

At the round table we got back on the subject of OM’s Vitamix 750 again. Bago was tired of hearing about how wonderful this over-priced blender is so he lays down a challenge to OM.

Bago is putting up his “Waste King Legend 8000 1 Horsepower Disposer” (the best on the market) vs. OM’s Vitamix 750 Food Processor.

Each challenger is given a basket of vegetables of equal proportions.  The goal is to grind the vegetables into a drink in the lowest amount of time. The first piece of equipment of chock is out and the other is declared winner.

Contestants ready? On the whistle you start. One Two Three WHISTLE SOUNDS.

OM starts by taking out his cutting board and paring knife to cut up his vegetables into smaller chunks. While BAGO on the other hand starts the Waste King Legend 8000 with a flip of the switch and starts cramming vegetables in with his plunger. 1 minute in… BAGO has a commanding lead. OM is now starting to put vegetables into his Vitamix 750. 2 minutes in…BAGO is down to his last couple of carrots while OM is struggling getting his large zucchini into his mixer. 2.2 minutes BAGO is declared the WINNER!

TV 2’s Al Allen comes out of retirement to interview Bago and to congratulate him on such a landslide victory.

Al: So Bago, what’s your secret? I mean you took down that preppie Vitamix 750 like it was your bitch.

Bago: You just don’t mess with success. You see everyone takes me for an ordinary plumber, but in reality I’m Mr. Fix It. Plus the “Waste King Legend 8000 Disposer” with its 1 Horsepower motor can even pulverize rocks in seconds. I don’t use anything but the best Al and yes you’re right, I made him my bitch!