Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Episode 08-28-2012 – When Lobster’s Cry


General conversations started the day off at the round table. Then KC asked if anyone has grilled lobsters before. Coach points to ManCave who has grilled everything from night crawlers to Buffalo. According to Chef ManCave “it’s a very simple process. Of course you should only use the tails, ManCave explains. However, if you do use the full lobster, I recommend removing the rubber bands from the claws, and expect to hear some cry’s coming from your grill once you’ve closed the lid” [T-Mobile makes the sound of a lobster crying].

The real question of the day… Is there a reason why lobsters are boiled alive? Wikipedia Bago wasn’t in the mood to answer such inconsequential questions today, so we go to the internets for the official answer… [T-Mobile makes the sound of a lobster crying].

Lobsters and shellfish are usually shipped alive. Lobsters can have just the tail removed and those can be flash frozen and shipped, just like shrimp. The major problem with tossing them in alive and kicking is they will sometimes freak out [T-Mobile makes the sound of a lobster crying], which causes the adrenaline to pump and the meat will taste terrible. This is why all animals to be slaughtered must be calm before slaughtering can take place. 

As part of the New Year’s Day celebration, O-Canada uses the knife to the head method to prepare her lobsters. She says “even though they are dead, the nerves are still reacting and the tail, no longer attached to the body, will keep moving”. She also goes on to say “the first couple of times you do this are very disconcerting... the biggest thing I've killed before that was a cockroach and with a little ketchup they’re very good as a light snack” [T-Mobile makes the sound of a lobster crying].

On the other hand, the Bago Clan enjoys this method of preparation. “We stroke them between the eyes and they will fall asleep. I then stick them in the freezer for about 15-20 minutes and they will go totally to sleep. Once slightly frozen and asleep I remove the lid off the boiling water and in they go. It’s a whole lot easier and more humane as well” [
T-Mobile makes the sound of a lobster crying].

Episode 08-27-2012 – Just Say NO / All Weekend long


For some of our regular readers, you may recall ManCave putting an end to the shipment of Diapers and other items to his house by O-Canada. Apparently the word “NO” is not in the Canadian dictionary. After an exhausted research project, the crack staff here at LG Publications found what I believe definitions are any country or language.
By definition: No [Noh] adverb, adjective, noun, verb, Idiom

Adverb
  1. A negative used to express dissent, denial, or refusal, as in response to a question or request. [Really, what part of NO more diaper’s don’t you understand?]
  2. Used to emphasize or introduce a negative statement. [Not a single member of the LG want’s diapers dropped off that their home, no, not a one.]
  3. Not in any degree or manner; not at all. [No more diaper’s]
Adjective
  1. Used before a noun to convey the opposite of the noun’s meaning. [She’s no beginner when ordering diaper’s on-line.]
Noun
  1. An utterance of the word “no”. [Your husband never uses the word NO around you does he?]
  2. A denial or refusal. [T-Mobile responded with a definite NO]
  3. A negative vote or voter. [The LG all say NO…UPS, Federal Express, DHL don’t stop here anymore!]
Verb (used with object)
  1. To reject, refuse approval, or express disapproval of. [Just don’t ask again!]
Verb (used without object)
  1. To express disapproval. [I think I’ve already said NO to diapers]
Idiom
  1. No can do (informal) [It cannot happen again…get it, got it, good]

The staff here at LG Publications, even went as far as to find the “Word Origin and History” of the word NO. Here are their findings…
NO “Negative reply”, dating back to the early 13th Century. Then explorer Marco “Bago” Polo (on left) an avid Falcon Hunter kept getting the word NO from tribal leaders when he tried to explain in his native language Italian he wanted to hunt there falcon’s (translated into something else…like it in the can) / As an adjective meaning from the 12th Century “not any” was reduced by literary scholar’s by dropping the final –t making it just plain ole simple NO. The word No-no was attested in 1492 when a female Stoll away on Christopher “Bago” Columbus (seen on the right below) ship “Santa Maria” was discovered by sailors aboard the ship hiding in the cargo bays trying smuggle goods to the new world.


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Thursday, August 23, 2012

Our "New" Book - No Ink/No Gravy

For all of our dedicated follower's, our new book cover has been sent to the publisher....


Episode 8-17-2012 – Kung Fu Picky Goes to Thailand (can you say BOONDOGGLE?)

Before we get into this episode, let's take a look at some of the world's leading media companies and how they define of the word Boondoggle.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary: a boondoggle is defined as “a wasteful or impractical project or activity.

Wikipedia (The Free Encyclopedia used world wide) defines Boondoggle as “term for a scheme that wastes time and money”


Our readers now understand the real truth of the following episode...




Purpose of This Communication
To provide Cube City travelers with Important Weather Related Travel News

Background Information
China, Thailand, Philippines and other countries within Asia are experiencing severe weather, including typhoons, heavy rain/flooding and electrical outages.

Kung Fu Picky's Hotel
Kung Fu Picky's walk to work (Plant is located in boat on right)


Kung Fu Picky's lunch location (Dearborn Sausage of the East on right)

Kung Ku Picky talking Taxi to meet his neighbor's (real reason for trip)

What You Need To Do
Avoid unnecessary travel to or through select countries in Asia with a special note to stay out of Thailand.  For those that need to travel, they should contact their local Cube City contact for a situation update.  Travelers may experience long delays and potential flight cancellations.  Prior to departure, travelers should check with their local Cube City designated travel agency or airline for the latest flight information.
Cube City Agent OM
Cube City Agent ManCave

Who To Contact for Assistance
Please refer travel questions to Al Allen for up to date weather reports “that’s a lot of F’en rain!”




Episode 8-22-2012 - Pay the Price


So today’s episode is about T-Mobile (he’s coming back now that he’s eating again) who’s headed to the dentist. According to T-Mobile “it’s payback time!”. Here’s how he explained it. Whenever he goes to the dentist he eats a lot of garlic for lunch! So him and the Bago go on a road trip over to one of our favorite restaurants in Cube City and he buys anything containing large amounts of garlic. T-Mobile even gets a few extra cups of freshly ground up garlic butter and drinks it with a straw. After consuming his lunch in record time, he looks at all of us with a very serious stare “it’s time”; jumps into his car and heads out.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Episode 08-20-2012 – Draft Day!


Live from Cube City, the LG Fantasy Football Commissioner is about to make a statement. Let’s listen in…

















Coach: It was fixed!
OM: Agreed.. FIX! 
KC: Wait…I thought the expansion teams get first pick!
GT Brees: Random my ass.
Mansel: Bilal already traded me the first pick in consideration for arranging for an accident for his mother in law.
Mansel to Coach: Let me apologize in advance if I take Stafford in the first round. he is the #3 QB on my cheat sheet. This assumes Bilal takes Rodgers and Bago takes Brady.
Bago: Great job!  Almost perfect; could only think of one better outcome.  However, to make it right, I’ll take Brees first up—if Bilal doesn’t want that is…
GT Brees: Glen has taken the bait. All a part of my plan to make sure I get the first pick I really want. Is it Megatron? Rodgers? Brady? MJ-D? I’m doing my homework…..and loyalty is out the window. This ain’t no popularity contest. 
ManCave: I think you should all take QB’s.  I’ll gladly take one of the top rated RB’s at #7.  Go ahead…draft all QB’s up through 7. Thank you.—MC …General Manger, MANSELBLOWS Franchise
GT Brees: It’s all about strategy! Just a hint: My first pick is going to make me feel dirty. Even a little sick to my stomach. 
Coach: This general manager crap must stop. 
Mansel: Just looking at the SI mock draft….by the end of the season, I had three of the top ten picks in my stable. I don’t think anyone can match my genius. Mike Vick. That’s a gamble.
Falcon: How is that going to make me feel? Like a whore!
Coach: Go ahead Mansel keep taking trash!
Mansel: You’re going to ITO, so get used to it. You got to admit….taking Cam Newton, who had never played a down in the NFL was Wile E. Coyote super-genius level thinking.
T-Mobile: It was beginners luck!
Coach: Sorry Mansel…that’s not going to fly. 
Mansel: Allow me to point out that the previous year’s winner was mostly due to my brilliance.
T-Mobile: That year I won it due to my brilliance. You had nothing to do with me winning for the 2nd time.
ManCave: Yeah, you two “geniuses” are “brilliant” alright…
T-Mobile: We are surely past winners of the LG FFL…. This is something you can’t claim
Mansel: OH, SNAP!
ManCave: Yes, you two are winners alright.  And Abbott and Costello were award-winning actors…yeah…
KC: Look out!  The gloves are coming off!
Coach: Game On!



Thursday, August 16, 2012

Episode 08-15-2012 – The “Two Hander”/Coach Win’s Challenge/Milking a Moose/Costco Fast Lane


What a Day!

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The “Two Hander”

Yes she did it again. O-Canada let her mouth move before her brain, again! “Don’t make me grab it with both hands!”… This time, she was in ManCave’s cube looking for a coupon to a local fast food place. ManCave found the coupon first to save a little money for him and held it in the air, keeping it from O-Canada. O-Canada grabs ManCave with one hand hoping he’d release the coupon and the unspeakable happen. That’s right, the Mouth before Brain thing again.  

//

Coach Win’s Challenge

Yes, she did it yet again. This time, O-Canada made the statement that Costco is a Canadian Company. Immediately Coach throws the challenge flag. T-Mobile pulls up the “Internets” on his newly improved T-Mobile X497 Phone, and verified that Coach was correct.

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Milking a Moose

It may appear that we are zeroing in on O-Canada; and you’d be right. We are! But this one the whole team gets into it.

Mansel: Maybe all Canadians should buy stuff off of Amazon and send it to DP’s house.

OM: What are we going to do with those locusts.. er’, I mean Canadians… Sheesh.

O-Canada: I can’t help it if milk is cheaper here…

OM: Start drinking moose milk

O-Canada: My moose is in the shop.

OM: Here is a picture of the Canadian Moose Milking team (Livonia Costco International Olympic Training location). The official word was it will be an Olympic sport in 2016. O-Canada is on the dream team called the “Two Handers” working for a fresh glass of moose milk… 
Nothing tastes finer…
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Costco Fast Lane

With all the talk about Costco today, Coach took it upon himself to play a little game. Coach tells the table about the border crossing between Canada and Washington State USA. In a serious voice he says “There are two lanes at the border; one for normal traffic and one for Canadian Costco Shopper’s”. ManCave and O-Canada fell for it Hook Line and Sinker. It was one of those “Got Ya” moments…LMAO!!!!



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Final 2012 Summer Olympic Metal Count



Gold
Silver
Bronze

Rank
Country



Total
1
United States 
46
29
29
104
2
China
38
27
22
87
3
Great Britain
29
17
19
65
4
Russia
24
25
33
82
5
Korea
13
8
7
28
6
Germany
11
19
14
44
7
France
11
11
12
34
8
Italy
8
9
11
28
9
Hungary
8
4
5
17
10
Australia
7
16
12
35
11
Japan
7
14
17
38
12
Kazakhstan
7
1
5
13
13
Netherlands
6
6
8
20
14
Ukraine
6
5
9
20
15
Cuba
5
3
6
14
16
New Zealand
5
3
5
13
17
Iran
4
5
3
12
18
Jamaica
4
4
4
12
19
Czech Republic
4
3
3
10
20
DPR Korea
4
-
2
6
21
Spain
3
10
4
17
22
Brazil
3
5
9
17
23
Belarus
3
5
5
13
24
South Africa
3
2
1
6
25
Ethiopia
3
1
3
7
26
Croatia
3
1
2
6
27
Romania
2
5
2
9
28
Kenya
2
4
5
11
29
Denmark
2
4
3
9
30
Azerbaijan
2
2
6
10
30
Poland
2
2
6
10
32
Turkey
2
2
1
5
33
Switzerland
2
2
-
4
34
Lithuania
2
1
2
5
35
Norway
2
1
1
4
36
Canada ** see below
1
5
12
18
37
Sweden
1
4
3
8
38
Colombia
1
3
4
8
39
Georgia
1
3
3
7
39
Mexico
1
3
3
7
41
Ireland
1
1
3
5
42
Argentina
1
1
2
4
42
Slovenia
1
1
2
4
42
Serbia
1
1
2
4
45
Tunisia
1
1
1
3
46
Dominican Republic
1
1
-
2
47
Trinidad and Tobago
1
-
3
4
47
Uzbekistan
1
-
3
4
49
Latvia
1
-
1
2
50
Algeria
1
-
-
1
50
Bahamas
1
-
-
1
50
Grenada
1
-
-
1
50
Uganda
1
-
-
1
50
Venezuela
1
-
-
1
55
India
-
2
4
6
56
Mongolia
-
2
3
5
57
Thailand
-
2
1
3
58
Egypt
-
2
-
2
59
Slovakia
-
1
3
4
60
Armenia
-
1
2
3
60
Belgium
-
1
2
3
60
Finland
-
1
2
3
63
Bulgaria
-
1
1
2
63
Estonia
-
1
1
2
63
Indonesia
-
1
1
2
63
Malaysia
-
1
1
2
63
Puerto Rico
-
1
1
2
63
Chinese Taipei
-
1
1
2
69
Botswana
-
1
-
1
69
Cyprus
-
1
-
1
69
Gabon
-
1
-
1
69
Guatemala
-
1
-
1
69
Montenegro
-
1
-
1
69
Portugal
-
1
-
1
75
Greece
-
-
2
2
75
Moldova
-
-
2
2
75
Qatar
-
-
2
2
75
Singapore
-
-
2
2
79
Afghanistan

-
1
1
79
Bahrain
-
-
1
1
79
Hong Kong, China
-
-
1
1
79
Saudi Arabia
-
-
1
1
79
Kuwait
-
-
1
1
79
Morocco
-
-
1
1
79
Tajikistan
-
-
1
1
 
notes:
** 
Trampoline: Gold (1) NOT REALLY A SPORT. I thought it was the Olympics, not the Circus! Really?
Rowing: Silver (2) OK, we’ll give you this one. Not bad!
Swimming: Silver (1) Bronze (2) we’ll give you this one. Not bad! At least you tried.
Canoe Sprint: Silver (1) Bronze (2) WHAT THE HECK? Lewis and Clark all over again.
Wrestling: Silver (1) Bronze (1) we’ll give you this one. Not bad! At least you tried.
Diving: Bronze (2) we’ll give you this one. Not bad! At least you tried.
Judo: Bronze (1) What is Judo anyway? I think it’s part of the Viking Boat Races.
Cycling Track: Bronze (1) Not really sure on how to comment on this one. 
Weight Lifting: Bronze (1) getting Better…Way to go!
Soccer: Bronze (1) This is a carryover from the winter games.
Track and Field: Bronze (1) The athlete had a good strong wind to his back.