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| Pomegranate Non-Fat Yogurt |
Frantic emails starting flying around this morning throughout Cube City about OM’s Yogurt went missing. Here is an excerpt from those messages (similar to playing back a 911 call):
8:30 AM ManCave, Coach! We have an emergency situation.
8:31 AM Coach, What's up
8:31 AM ManCave, OM's Pomegranate Greek Yogurt has been STOLEN from the 'fridge.
8:31 AM Coach, NO!
8:31 AM ManCave, Yes!
8:31 AM Coach, OM should have kept that “Rainbow lunch bag” Bago gave him yesterday.
8:31 AM OM, yes i know
8:32 AM ManCave, that is exactly what I told him
8:32 AM Coach, Know body would ever take anything from that bag
8:32 AM OM, I’m gonna find that emeffer
8:32 AM ManCave, no one takes a L.G. members lunch object. Only we take others stuff
8:32 AM OM, exactly. This is war!
8:32 AM Coach, Let's go !
8:32 AM ManCave, all-out war
8:33 AM OM, people get hurt in a war
8:33 AM Coach, that’s right
8:33 AM ManCave, what brand of yogurt?
8:33 AM OM, hmm
8:33 AM Coach something Light & Fruity
8:33 AM OM, I will have Mrs. 37 second look it up got backups in fridge at home
8:33 AM ManCave, Which brand, Chobani?
8:33 AM OM, yes Chobani Pomegranate
8:34 AM Coach, WOW...this is serious
8:34 AM OM, yep.. Totally.
8:34 AM Coach, Lets put together a plan to find that yogurt. Nobody takes from the Lunch Gang...Nobody.
After such a travesty took place, ManCave placed a note on the front of the refrigerator (kind of like one you’d find for a missing dog on a phone pole) basically stating “Whoever took my Yogurt, we’re after you now, signed LG”. The hunt was on for the missing yogurt.
Moments later, upon returning to his cube, ManCave notices that Rapunzel Boots was eating a Chobani Pomegranate Yogurt as well. Could it be he thought to himself. Alarming as it was, all Lunch Gang members were notified of his findings. Everyone was in amazement that Rapunzle Boots could even think about taking anything from the Lunch Gang. Little does she know the depth of our punishments (like the time we took Rainbow Room’s Chocolate Cake just because we wanted it...brutal).
Later that morning it got Coach to thinking ...
There’s a woman “Rapunzel Boots”, who works in Cube City wishing for some Chobani Pomegranate Yogurt one day, but in vain. Knowing all to well there was, directly in the back of her cube a refrigerator that she could see which overlooked a beautiful fully functioning cantina of the finest food sample any bait pile could ever hope for; but no one ventured into the refrigerator, for items that belonged to other people, were totally off limits to anyone in Cube City, and of whom all the world was afraid to take anything. Early one day that women stood up staring over the high walls of her cube, looking directly at the bait pile. It was at that very moment she saw a slender built lad put what appeared to be a yogurt cup onto the shelf of refrigerator; and it looked so fresh and yummy that she began to wish for some; and at great length she longed for it greatly. This went on for hours, and as she knew she could not just take someone’s food from the bail pile frig, she pined away, and grew pale and miserable. Then one of her fellow cube maiden's asked, " What is the matter, Rapunzel Boots? "
"Oh" answered she, "I shall die unless I can have some of that Chobani Pomegranate Yogurt to eat that sits chilling in the bail pile refrigerator in the back of our cubes." The cube maiden said to her, “Rather than lose yet another minute, just walk over there and take that Chobani Pomegranate Yogurt, cost what it will."
So in the early hours of that morning she stood up from the comfort of her desk chair, walked over to the bait pile frig, plucked hastily the delicious Chobani Pomegranate Yogurt and brought it to her cube. She grabbed a spoon from her desk at once, and ate of it to her heart's content. But she liked it so much, and it tasted so good, that she longed for it thrice as much as she had done before; if she was to have any rest she would search the refrigerator for more. So she stood again; and walking back to where she once had taken the delicious treat, she saw, all at once, the someone coming towards her, and was terribly frightened, as she ran back to her cube, crying with angry eyes.
"How dare someone interfere when I’m trying to be a thief, and steal someone else’s Chobani Pomegranate Yogurt!" Just then the cube maiden returned to asked Rapunzel Boots how the yogurt was when they both over heard a couple of the Lunch Gang (a notorious group of bandits themselves robbing from the rich and keeping form themselves) members talking about putting together a plan to catch the thief.
"Oh," one said, " we’ll be merciful rather than just mean, we’ll take a serving of Chobani Pomegranate Yogurt and put in the sun for a day, place it back in the refrigerator and sit and wait.” Whoever it is they’re possessed with so great a longing that they eat it again but this time will be shitting there brains out!” Good plan another Lunch Gang member is overheard saying. Both the cube maiden and Rapunzel Boots just looked at each other in total fright.
Later that evening before turning in for the night, Rapunzel Boots couldn’t help but think “would she ever get away with something like that again? and would the ruthless Lunch Gang make good on there promise?” Nightmare’s haunted Rapunzel Boots that night...
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| "Rapunzel Boots! Let down your hair!" |
music from J. Giles Band musta got lost is playing in the background....
This is a story about Y-O-G-U-R-T, and if you abuse it yer goin to lose it and if you lose it yer goin to abuse and if you abuse it you aint going to be able to choose it cuz you aint going to have it further on down the line and things aint going to be so fine and yer going to be sitting there on your in your cube tryin to look and keep it clean and You’re going to be home playing XBOX all night all alone and that's why your sittin there by the iPad and you know that she aint goin to call you!
So you put on the TV and you're watchin Leno segueing right into the Good Morning America show but that don't got the go so you turn it off ya turn on the radio, the radio don’t' seem to get the click so you say "Hey Man, I can't lickety split" You start to open up a little book and there's somethin there you got to overlook and you say "BABY, you know there's somethin on my mind!
"You say "Baby there's somethin on my mind - I know that you're home and I know you aint all alone! "
So you start walking over to her house and you get over to her house and you walk over to her door and you start pound-in on her door and you say "Open up the door bitch!? This is the wooba gooba with the green teeth, let me in!!"
Well, she opens up the door and then you just kinda walk up to her and say "Baby", you look up way up at her green mascara and you say "Oh my darling, you know we had at the party with friends do not believe what they say that's only gossip that they tell-in ya - it’s all about Arbor Brewing’s Buzz Saw IPA!" You say Darling!!!
Take your big curls and squeeze them down Rotumba - What's the name of the chick with the long hair? (Rapunzle Boots!) Hey Rapunzle Boots! Hey Raputa! Raputa the Buta! Hey Raputa the Buta flip me down your hair let me climb up to get back my Chobani Pomegranate Yogurt!!
Because this is the wooba gooba sayin to ya "Yogurt is mind and when it’s in the Frig you better not grab it fast cuz sometimes it has things in it you grab it ain’t going to last and I believe I musta, You know I think I musta, You know I think I musta, You know I think I musta, RETURN MY YOGURT!!!!!!!
Alarm clock is going off....
