Episode 08-04-2014 – Mini-Me take’s car out for a ride

Mini-Me (aka ManCave’s son) is now a legal driver and it’s only fitting he took out the family car for a little spin around the block.

I believe this picture was taken on Edison Street (jumping the curb in front of Bago’s house).

Episode 03-11-2014 – The Maestro gets a promotion

From the Lunch Gang a big congratulation goes out to The Maestro (aka Don Tauro) on his recent promotion to head bean counter. 

In his own words…

Guys,

Thank you for your kind words.  (ManCave, I tried to stop by a few times but you were probably too busy getting your daily exercise). I have not given up on my GNR dreams as yet. I may still give up my job once I finish paying for college. Of course, Axl will probably be performing in a really warm place surrounded by large flames by that time. ☺

Episode 03-07-2014a – Losing Control

The Lunch Gang has an event planner; in this position the “Event Planner” is responsible for putting together the weekly Friday Lunch Schedule; coordinate special events i.e. Auto Shows, Tap take overs, etc.. 

Event Coordinator’s Qualifications

Management Skills

Verbal & Written Communication Skills

Project Management

Leadership qualities

Planning skills

When the New Year (2014) came in the job of Lunch Gang Event Planner was passed along to T-Mobile. For five (5) years this position was by non-other than Professor who absolutely change the definition of planning events. If you were to look at the true definition of “Event Planning” in Wikipedia you’d find Professor’s name listed

From Wikipedia - Event planning: is the process of planning a Friday lunches, festival, ceremonies, Tap Takeover’s, parties, road trips, or even conventions. Event planning for the LG includes thoughtful consideration on budgeting, establishing dates and alternate dates, selecting and reserving the event site, acquiring permits (alcohol permits, insurance licenses, etc.), and coordinating transportation and parking. For years this position was held by non-other that the “Professor” and there was none better. As the Event planner for the LG, Professor would also includes some or all of the following, depending on the event: developing a theme or motif for the event, arranging for speakers and alternate speakers, coordinating location support (such as electricity and other utilities), arranging for, tables, chairs, tents (if needed), event support and security, catering, police, fire, portable pissers, parking, signage, emergency plans, health care professionals (over those over-severed) and first aid stations, along with cleanup.

Those are really big shoes to follow and we thought T-Mobile to handle this….well that’s what we were hoping. Here’s what happen last Friday was lunch was planned for Miller’s. Watch how fast it got out of control…HE’s NOT WORTHY but trainable.

T-Mobile: Per the Schedule today’s lunch is at Miller’s bar. As some of you are observing Lent and knowing the choices at Miller’s bar are limited, we are open for suggestions for a change of venue. Who is IN and where do you like to eat today?

Mansel: How about Juicy Tuna?

ManCave: I had an incredible Miller’s burger last night.

MANSEL…you do know there are other places to eat other than Yasmeen and Juicy, right? Bangkok96 has meatless options…LOUD CHINESE has veggie/shrimp options….Fort Street has Tilapia tacos…Gracie See has veggie pizzas…and, of course, JUICY tuna….LOL… We need a good fish and chips place!!!

Bago: Mel Bar…perch or cod

Godfather: I think I can make it today…  Let me know where you end up going.

T-Mobile: Pizza Papalis lunch buffet is the best available option for today (this is not negotiable!).

We leave ITHQ-A at 11. IN so far: Professor, TMOBILE, BAGO, Coach, MC and Godfather. Officially OUT: OM and Smokes

Coach: O'Kelly's K of C by ManCave’s house is open for lunch and has fish fry going on today….sound good to everyone?

T-Mobile: Coach we already made an executive decision to go to Pizza Papalis today!

Bago: I don’t know, fish sounds really good… I’m like coach’s idea…

T-Mobile: Ok so Bago and Coach are splitting off the group for today’s lunch. Enjoy the fish J

ManCave: I’ll pass on PP….you guys enjoy….

T-Mobile: MC – your decision is unacceptable. Now the situation is out of control.

OM: YOU have lost control of your team Bilal. 

ManCave: LOL!!!!   Come have fish!

Bago: Fish it is!!! Yay!!!

Mansel: Should have gone with Juicy Tuna like I said.

Bago: Oh, professor is casting a protest vote NO FISH FOR YOU!

ManCave: Fish!!! Let’s do this!!!

T-Mobile: Ok, I give up. With the fish choice we lose professor! Majority rule --- fish it is!

Professor: I have a noon meeting that I have to attend. No protest from me! Sounds like the event coordinator needs to sharpen his coordinating skills!

T-Mobile: I’m planning to take coordination training! Or maybe I should take anti-bully training --- I feel Coach and Bago bullied us to go to the fish place --- I felt intimidated L

Bago: Time us.  We would absolutely have you back for your lunch meeting.

As you can see this situation became uncontrollable as soon as T-Mobile suggested a change in his opening statement. What made Professor an excellent “Event Planner” was he lived by the IRON FIST RULE of Management…Never show signs of weakness…they’ll eat you alive! So with that said, the LG is suggestion the following leadership classes for T-Mobile:

Persuasion: Influencing without authority

An intensive three-day experience focusing on practical skills for real-world persuasive situations ranging from one-on-one negotiations to making changes to the lunch schedule.

Leadership Essentials

During this two-day program, T-Mobile will improve his abilities in such areas as team leadership, emotional intelligence, conflict management, and managing change. (Helps will being Bullied)

Emerging Leader Development Program

Focus on leadership, strategy formulation, decision making and negotiating, and change management, and use 360-degree feedback to become stronger leaders.

Executive Program

He’ll be taken on a journey of intellectual, personal and professional discovery, transformation and growth during this 2-week module in the program where he’ll be dropped in the jungles of Africa where he’ll learn to work between warring tribes. (He might not make it back from this one)

Negotiation Strategies

Through a hands-on approach, T-Mobile will learn how to negotiate more effectively with the Lunch Gang Members.

Personal Leadership Executive Edition

Tools for tangible personal improvements and greater leadership skills through a distinctive set of video-lectures (includes popcorn), delivered with a flexible learning schedule (WFH) and self-reflection exercises.

High Impact Leadership

This class will give T-Mobile a profound understanding of how to be perceived as leader in the context of the Lunch Gang organization through a dynamic mix of lectures, discussions, 360-degree feedback, one-on-one coaching and self-assessment tools.

Essential of Management

This inspiring curriculum will enable this high-potential Event Planner to build critical business foundations in functional areas (like group outings) while developing superior leadership skills.

Leadership Essentials in Event Planning

In this two-day program, T-Mobile will learn to improve his abilities in such areas as team leadership, emotional intelligence, conflict management, and managing change. 

Personal Leadership and Success

Uses breakthrough research in psychology, neuroscience and cognitive behavior therapy to provide techniques for playing poker on Valentine’s Day.

Event Planner Leaders Program for Nonprofit Professionals

Over 20 days, future event planner professionals gain strategic management and leadership skills and cutting-edge business knowledge to help them develop actionable plans for their organizations.

Episode 03-07-2014 – Headed back to the 80’s

Our friend ManCave really had some good times during the 80’s and he is thinking about going back in. Check this picture out:

His only concern is will he get enough bathroom time to fix his hair. 

Episode 03-04-2014 – Bago announces his candidacy for Vice-President

You heard it here first…Bago is running for the office of Vice –President of the United State of America.

The exclusive announcement made today at the Bago Café for the members of the Lunch Gang. This came as a total surprise to all of us say’s Professor “we just thought he was going to give tell us about some unwanted trivia again but he comes up with this”.

His campaign manager “ManCave” has already started coming up with some slogans:

“From simple beginnings in a log cabin on Edison Street, to the White House..." 

“If BAGO falls in the forest, does he make sound?

“Headquarters will be somewhere here in Cube City and we’re looking for a warehouse right now” this according to ManCave. He’s even when so far as too create his own party, called BAGOCRAT.

It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen as a campaign…he’s peddling hotdog’s for votes!

Episode 2-24-2014 – Winter Beer Festival 2014

It’s been 3 ½ months. Several members of the LG are happily living uneventful lives at home. The last they heard from disaster-magnet White Doug, he took a job on the west side of the state and with him out of the way, the LG have very nearly recovered from their night in the Eastern Market.

The only member who’s not content is the Director. Still lacking a sense of purpose, the group’s black sheep has ditched his meds and given in to his natural impulses in a big way-which, for Director, means no boundaries, no filters and no judgment-until a personal crisis forces him to finally seek the help he needs.

And who better that his LG Beer Festival buddies to make sure he takes the first step. What could possibly go wrong in Grand Rapids? But when the LG hits the road, all bets are off. 

‘The Winter Beer Festival” is the epic conclusion to an incomparable odyssey of mayhem and bad decisions, in which the guys must finish what they started at the Summer Beer Festival.

One way or another…it all ends here. Or does it?

The Director: “I told myself I’d never come back…” 

Coach: “That’s alright, it ends tonight!”

The Kick-Off

We kicked off the night with a few pints and some good food at Hopcat in downtown Grand Rapids. White Doug, what the heck are you doing in this picture and why is Godfather smiling so much? Come on man, it’s a family brewery. You can’t take him anywhere.

The Champion Is?

We moved over to the B.O.B. The beer was good and a Round-Robin Shuffle-Board Championship was held. ManCave & Director won it all! They actually kick our asses…plain and simple. I really think the left-handed spin technique was outlawed many years ago. CONGRATS Team Proctor!

Reporting for Duty

The Green Team present and reporting for duty you fat insulting bitch. That’s right…we pulled off one of the BIGGEST SCAM’s of the year and it was at your expense. 

So here’s how this all went down. When festival tickets went on sale, the website crashes, and there were thousands of us unable to buy; so the hunt was on. Up until a week out, all look lost, but OM made connections with one of his brewery masters for volunteer work. The companies name was the Sweaty Mouse (a fitting name for a fat bitch like you). The brew master forwarded over a web link to sign up to work which we did. After submitting the web form you received an email stating “sorry we’re all full” OM checked back and was told the three of us was to report to “Will Call” at 11am the day of the event and we could still work. So like good volunteers like we are, we report at 11am but the line is long and we’re fearful that we will not get in. 

Suddenly the line was moving and as we approach the table to pick up our credentials the women tells us “You’re not on the list”. So OM show’s her the email we received he received from the fat insulting bitch and our VIP Tickets was handed to us. We were then instructed to go right to the main entrance, show our ticket, and report to the Sweaty Mouse tent located just inside the main entrance. When the three of use showed our VIP Tickets at the main entrance we were greeted with Beer Cups and Tokens. “WE’RE IN” Our Sole Objective this weekend was to breach the gate any way we could and we did that by using the Sweaty Mouse. So I told these guys “We’re in, let’s just go mingle with the brewer’s until twelve then we can drink with the other guys”. OM was feeling a little guilty and said “Let’s go see what they got to say”. So we did. We walked over to the tent and introduced ourselves to the staff there. They told us to want until the fat bitch got back. When the fat bitch pulled up on the golf cart OM made introductions and said he was here with the Godfather and me. The fat bitch then said “I see you brought your illiterate friends with you”. It took every ounce of energy I had in my body hold back my comments. If I didn’t come this far with my friends for and enjoyable weekend then I would have given that Fat Bitch a double barrel of put down. I then told OM and Godfather I’m NOT going to do any work. Ten minutes later I took off my badge and grabbed a beer. UP YOUR’S YOU FAT BITCH! We got in for FREE!

Costly Mistake Dump Ass

Whenever you stand outside in 20 degree temperatures with a 30 MPH winds, one tends to get somewhat cold. So at the Winter Beer Festival there was wood burning warming stations spread throughout the compound. Here’s one dude who got just a little too close to the heat...MELTED the back of his jacket.

This was a North Face Jacket and if you’ve ever shop for one of these jackets they are a little pricy! Somewhere in the neighborhood of $300 plus. One of his buddies should have told him about this. 

Adventures

White Doug to Professor: “We’ve been on a lot of adventures together but it seems you haven’t learned anything. Nothing”

What happen to Godfather?

With the beer festival winding down, we lost Godfather for about 2 hours and as a group we were very concerned.  What we were going to tell his wife? How do we explain we lost a father of four at a beer festival? What to do if he didn’t show back up? Luckily for us he showed back up while standing in line for the Kentucky Breakfast Stout tapping (you see how concerned we really was. We were drinking beer). But look what happen to his face! He told us he was having such a great time that we wanted something to remember it by. When asked if it hurt? “I cried like a little girl” 

Nothing Better to Wear

Why do people feel they need to dress like complete fools at these types of events. In any case, OM is having a little fun with these two morons. Then Leisure Suit Larry came out of retirement to walk around strutting his stuff. Coach said “I think he takes it in the can”. 

Spooning

Now let me be PERFECTLY CLEAR about this one (contrary to what Mansel thinks or says), every dude had their own bed on this trip; some brought blow-up Mattresses; others use the hotel beds and Coach stayed at his daughter’s house (safe move I think even though my grandson decided not to sleep this weekend). After a full day of drinking beer outside and filling our bellies with food and more beer, a couple of WBF Travelers decided to do a semi-spoon. What do you think?

According to Webster Dictionary, Spooning is described as: Physical intimacy is sensual proximity or touching. If you examine the positioning of these two WBF Travelers, there is enough spacing between them that it doesn’t qualify as a spoon. Sorry Mansel…but I thought you wanted to know.

Volcano Monitoring Techniques

Background: Geologists over time have developed several methods to monitor changes in active volcanoes. These methods allow them to forecast and, in some cases, predict, the onset of an eruption. So a FORECAST indicates that the volcano is "ready" to erupt. A PREDICTION states that a volcano will erupt within a specified number of hours or days. 

Well, the WBF Travelers have their own way of measuring eruptions as well. Any guy, I don’t give a dam who you are there are eruptions after drinking all day. In comparisons WBF Scientist has a come up with their own technique of monitoring such things like “magma bursts” (farts) and “sonic eruptions” (snoring). We called it the Balancing Cookie Technique or BCT for short as seen in the photo below.

I Have a Demon Inside Me

Director: “We can’t be friends anymore. When we get together bad things happen and people get hurt”.

White Doug: “Yeah, that’s the point. It’s funny!”

The Morning After 

With everyone moving extremely slow the morning after the WBF, the Professor suggest we go to this greasy spoon for some breakfast. According to the reviews it’s supposed to be ranked as one of the top “Brunch” places east of the Grand River. So the WBF Travelers make their way onto the highway in search of the Holy Grail of Brunches”. As we moved through the city and passing restaurant after restaurant ManCave says “This F’en place better be good or I’m going to F somebody up”. The parking lot for this place was so small you might be able to park a Moped and maybe a Yugo. ManCave “That’s it…I’m F’en somebody up! I’m hungry”. So the group of worn out travelers walk into this restaurant…that will be 2 hour wait. ManCave goes off again “What the F?” Walking back to the vehicles the Director couldn’t even walk a straight line and was talking in tongues. The dude really did have a Demon in him. So we piled back into the caravan and back on the road in search of food. We finally settled on traditional food joint and all was happy.

The Drive Home

After exorcism attempts to drive out the evil spirits possessing the Director, he was resting comfortably in Coach’s truck. (Some members of the WBF Travelers believe it was brought on by the director’s own doing. You see after a very late night in downtown GR the director grabbed someone’s left over pizza at Founders. You do know the pizza-man was the devil don’t you?) 

But what the picture didn’t catch is he had his hand down his pants. By the way Director who is Sally or was it Suzie? Not sure what that’s all about but the kid was out of it…Look at him!

Trip Comments

Godfather: Had a great time this weekend! Professor – Thanks for coordinating / White Doug – Thanks for setting up accommodations. Anyone want a cookie?

ManCave: Yeah, great time men. 

WD: Thanks for getting the rooms and congrats on Canada’s gold in hockey.

The Director: Still hung-over?

KC: Get that wrist x-rayed!

OM: You cookie infested, passed out S.O.B.!

Professor: Great job organizing!

Coach: About the dude in the Baby Blue Leisure Suit “He takes it in the can!”  Still laughing at that

Godfather: Glad you finally re-found us at the festival.  It would’ve been hard to explain to your wife how we lost you.

OM: I think I have a rash from the cheap frosting used by that cookie company…

White Doug: Thanks for including me this weekend boys, loved it. I was wondering one thing though – where did I end up with Professor?  Good side or bad side?  We were so hot and cold all weekend, very draining emotionally.  Professor is so volatile.  I can confirm the director is alive, heard him on a conference call this morning.  

KC: Yes, great time was had by all!

Director: Had a blast. I was still moving slowly this morning. I’m almost recovered, but there are still horrible things happening within me.

Coach: So you do have a “DEMON” inside you!!! LMAO

Professor: Definitely a great time this weekend! Agree with the other comments. Based on this weekend, “some people” may need to start resting up for the summer beer fest (Friday, July 25th)! WD – I find the “Professor is so volatile” comment fairly offensive, to be honest. I really thought you were an all right guy until I found out you were Canadian! Other than Ketchup Potato Chips and Mill Street Beer, there is nothing good that Canada has to offer. You partially redeemed yourself this weekend. Not drinking any sangria in public helped your cause. We’ll be good after the Kuhnhenn/Supino’s trip (although you’ll be back on the suspect list if you order “The Fluffer” at Kuhnhenn’s). That is the next trip that needs to be put in the planning stages soon. (Friday, March 28th after work is good for me).

Episode 02-20-2014 – Golf Course Ponds

Whenever you’re golfing have you ever wondered if there are fish in those ponds….OM has the answer!

Do what I do…take out your Pocket Fisherman and take home some dinner while you play! I simply reach into my golf bag, whip out my Pocket Fisherman and head to the pond. Within a couple of casts I always land a big one!

Try it next time you’re on the course! You’ll be glad you did.