Let’s take you to Punxsutawney where Phil Conner’s is reporting live, Phil…
It’s a sad day here in Punxsutawney where we’ve learned the great weather predictor “Phil the Groundhog” was assassinated by a sniper from the grassy knoll across the street from where officials house the groundhog year round. Eye witnesses told me they seen “Phil the Groundhog” come out of his cabin for his morning dump, when a loud gunshot rang out. Phil is dead!
I’ve also learned the shoot was captured and when asked why he did it, he said “the rodent lied to us…it won’t stop snowing and we’re sick of winter…early spring my ass…I’m glad it’s dead”. There you have it folks, coming live from Punxsutawney, I’m Phil Conner’s…back to you.
