In 2011, the Cube City community service team was out spreading good tidings. Attending this year's function was Cube Cities very own Chuck Studley. He arrives driving his newly renovated 1957 Ford Ranchero Coupe complete with his trademark painted on the side "The Most Interesting Man in the World" (see picture below) and across the back is "Stay Thirsty My Friends". This semi-bearded, debonair, American gentleman roughly in his 50s drives with his windows down while Barry Whites "can't get enough of your love, baby" is playing in the background. The precise setting for this years community service work is never revealed, but once he arrives he performs interesting feats, such as: freeing an angry pit-bull from a painful-looking trap, removing Gang Symbols from the side of a building using only a tooth brush, and removing little kittens for a storm sewer that's being over run with rats. A local news reporter is over heard mentioning hilarious aspects of his personality, such as: "he lives vicariously through himself", "he once taught the mayor of D-Town to steal from the poor for himself", "his personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards", "he never says something tastes like chicken – not even chicken", "he's been known to cure narcolepsy, just by walking into a room", "he once had an awkward moment, just to see how it felt" and "even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number".
At the end of the event, Chuck Studley says "I don't always carrying out gift to cars, but when I do, I prefer small ones". Realizing it's time to leave, Chuck Studley climbs back into this vintage 1957 Ranchero Coupe, closes the door, turns down the Barry White music playing on his 8-track tape, leans out the window saying his signature sign-off: "Stay thirsty, my friends!" He then throws out a pair of granny panties given to him by one of the helpers and slowing driving down Woods Avenue waving goodbye.
Mean while, at the other end of the building, KC is seen carrying toys and other gifts to the car of a needy family. Walking beside him is what appears to be a sharply dressed woman. One of the elderly female workers noticed what was going on and yells out "It’s a man, baby! See the Adam's apple?" Everyone turns and starts laughing; laughing so hard it drowned out the noise of gang violence (pop-pop-pop) going on in the background.
Merry Christmas to all!
